Friday, 27 November 2009

Former Secret CIA Manual Goes On Sale

A CIA manual instructing US agents on the use of magic tricks during the Cold War has gone on sale. It was written in 1953 by magician John Mulholland. It includes deceptions such as spiking drinks, pocketing small objects and tying shoelaces to communicate in code. The CIA ordered copies destroyed in the 1970s, but one survived.

Among several deceptions detailed in the book, it instructs spies on how to tie their shoelaces to signal other spies - "I have information", "Follow me", or "I have brought another person".
It also shows operatives how to conceal a doping pill in a matchbook, and then covertly drop it into a person's drink while distracting them.

A former CIA agent recalled how this book had saved many a life over the years. “I recall we were in Russia years back and one of our agents had to flee as the NKVD, were after him. He was stranded with his back against the wall. In an instant he had removed a newspaper from his briefcase and with a few snips of his scissors he had created a paper ladder and made his escape. In 1965 we managed to assassinate a double agent when he opened an innocent looking tin of nuts and the toy snake inside shot through his eye and killed him instantly. We were banned from using itching powder after another incident but I cannot go in to the details for fear of what may happen to me.”

The guide was part of a larger CIA programme, called Project MK-Ultra, aimed at countering the Soviet mind-control techniques of the Cold War era.
But Mr McLaughlin says that to the best of his knowledge, the drink-spiking techniques "were never actually used other than at staff parties".

Thursday, 26 November 2009

Norwich To Be Taken Off The Map In Train Service Move


National Express will have its East Anglia rail franchise terminated three years early, the government has said. The Department for Transport said National Express would lose the franchise on 31 March 2011.

Transport Secretary Lord Adonis said the process for securing a new operator would be difficult but he reiterated that the decision was in no way because Norwich is a crap place to visit.

The Mayor of Norwich stated that there a great many reasons for tourist to still continue to visit Norwich and East Anglia but was unable to confirm any when he was pushed on the matter. It was hoped that the news didn't impact too much on the economy of the region.

Celebrity Cook and Football Club owner, Delia Smith spoke out about the news.

"I wish people would stop blaming me for everything because our team is playing terrible at the moment. Just because Norwich City Football Club is now playing in the 1st Division it doesn't mean our railway service should also be relegated."

Delia we can confirm is looking to rehash a few of her old cook books in order to fund a "Put Norwich back on the map" campaign. But just like her current squad of players the future is looking decidedly bleak at the moment for such a move.

Wednesday, 25 November 2009

President Obama Pardons Turkey

Sunday, 22 November 2009

Mysterious Stain on Jackson's Glove Possibly Due To Ageing, Auction House Confirms

Saturday, 21 November 2009

President of the European Council Unsure of Foreign Affairs Supremo

Friday, 20 November 2009

Camilla Accidentally Bashed A Small Boy

Vampire movie New Moon condemned by the Vatican


The latest film in the Twilight saga is the tale of a blood-sucker who falls in love with a beautiful teenage girl.

'This film is nothing more than a moral vacuum with a deviant message and, as such, is something that should be of concern,' said Monsignor Franco Perazzolo, of the pontifical council of culture yesterday.

The Vatican failed to mention the cover up of thousands of cases of sexual abuse by priests over the years or of the lax punishment meted out to those priests found guilt of such sins. It is to be assumed a Vatican expert confirmed, “Some moral vacuums are not worth mentioning I guess.”

Three weeks ago the Vatican condemned Halloween as 'anti-Christian and dangerous' and it urged parents not to dress their children as ghosts, goblins and vampires.

Angela Burns, Mother of three children was shocked at the news that as a practicing Christian she was to stop her children wearing Halloween costumes. “I don’t know why they want to ban fancy dress on Halloween but I understand such costumes can frighten some children. My husband dressed as a priest for the evening and whenever he answered the door to the kids in the area they all ran away screaming.”

The producers of the Twilight films confirmed that a Twilight vacuum cleaner will be on sale at retailers in the New Year.

Thursday, 19 November 2009

Henry Lands World Cup Place For France

Tuesday, 17 November 2009

Putin Goes Hip-Hop

To see the full youtube video click here:-



Sunday, 15 November 2009

BBC BRING OUT DOCTOR WHO BEAUTY PRODUCTS