Odin Endorses BNP Nick Griffin Confirms

Odin god of the Norse men is due to declare the British National Party as the only party for the British Arian Right, news reports have claimed today.

After a year of ups and downs the B N P has found a guardian in the shape of an ancient mythological god who truly believes in their xenophobic/racist beliefs.

Odin who had remained silent during the General Election as to which party he had backed made his feelings be known in a dream to party leader, Nick Griffin the other night after a cheese and wine party with some of his closest henchmen.

“Nick, it is time you came out of the closet, sorry I meant wilderness and took this country in the direction it needs to go, the past!” Odin was believed to have informed Mr Griffin according reports coming out of his parties head quarters in East London.

The leader of the BNP was elated to be visited by such a magnificent Arian god.

“It was wonderful seeing the old fellow I can tell you. After all it’s not often one wakes up with a gruff looking hairy one eyed Viking god standing over you whilst you are naked in bed is it! Some Liberal Democrats would pay good money for that type of thing to happen to them I can tell you.” Mr Griffin stated outside his country manor.

Thor the god of thunder, Odin’s son, is still undecided as to who he is backing. He is currently unsure on The Lib Democrat’s coalition with the Tory Party. Policy issues like Trident are causing him some concern.

“As everyone is aware I have a magnificent swinging arm but I am not usually a swinging voter. I generally vote for the strong type like myself. I like my politicians to be both strong, male and the dynamic type, unfortunately Anne Widdecombe is no longer an MP.”

“Clegmire I feel came across very well in the first live television debate during the general election but since siding with Cameron he looks more and more like the office gimp every single day. Dad has always had an eye for politics, only the one mind so he can be blinded by some politicians. So I am not really sure what he sees in the BNP.”

The BNP will be holding a rape and pillage night at Stepney Town Hall this weekend in honour of their new endorser.

Government Refuses To Turn Up For Work Unless Labour Party Removed from Opposition Benches First

The Nation was yesterday when the government asked that an amendment to the normal procedure for Prime Ministers question time be made.

It would appear that the Coalition Government are refusing to attend the House of Commons during Prime Ministers Question Time unless the entire opposition are removed first.

In a week of the Queen’s Speech a Downing Street spokesman said it questioned the appearance of the entire Labour Party on the opposite side of the house. “Particularly when they intend to ask questions about our policies and our intended spending cuts.”

Former spin doctor Alistair Campbell upon hearing the news was amazed at the government’s stupidity over the matter. “How can they ask such a thing? We in the Labour party have had to endure 13 years as a government looking across the house at the likes of Ann Widdecombe and Nicholas Soames and we didn’t complain.

Prime Minister David Cameron said he was too busy sorting out his wife’s new expensive kitchen to give a proper response to the up roar that has been caused over his government’s request.

He did add however, “I cannot see what the ruddy fuss is all about. Surely not having to look at all the nasty little toadies on the opposite side of the house isn’t too much to ask for? Anyway, cannot stop as I am still trying to work out with the Chancellor how best to slip the costs for the wife’s new kitchen in to the 6.2 Billion saving cuts.”

Nick Clegg: The Age Of Plenty Is Over