Thursday, 12 August 2010

Foreign Bugs Taking Our Jobs!


Foreign Super Bug taking over British Super Bugs jobs it has been announced by the Daily Mail today.

Hospitals across the nation were on alert last night after confirmation that an antibiotic-resistant superbug imported by people who have had cosmetic surgery abroad was detected at an unnamed hospital near Bristol.

The bug, NDM-1 has affected 37 Britons – and some infections have already been passed from patient to patient in hospitals here.

Nick Griffin leader of the British National Party has called for the Con/Lib government to do more to stop this and other foreign diseases from entering the country.

“This is yet another example of foreigners coming into our country and taking home grown and I hasten to add, hard working diseases jobs”.

Mr Harry Smith a 71 year old pensioner from Putney was disgusted upon hearing the news.

“I worked hard all my life and was looking forward to dying a lonely and horrific death from one of our diseases. It looks like I will now most likely die from one of those foreign ones that eat your flesh from the inside out. I blame Labour for all this. They have made our country open to all kinds of foreign invaders!”

Although there have only been about 50 cases identified in the UK so far, scientists fear it will go global. Tight surveillance and new drugs are needed says Lancet Infectious diseases.

A press conference by the British Alliance for Diseases (BAD) was due to due to be made this morning but unfortunately the live conference had to be cancelled due to an outbreak of sickness amongst the gathering journalists.

B.A.D union representative, C.Difficile later spoke to press over the telephone on the matter.

“ Our members are prepared to take industrial action if this interloper doesn’t desist in what it is doing in our hospitals. We are watching proceedings very closely and will ballot our members in due course. A possible “Sick In” may take place no later than next week if this new virus doesn’t get off our manor.”

“I would like to apologise for the outbreak of sickness at this morning’s press conference. Some of our members upon seeing a large crowd of people couldn’t help themselves. Our well wishes go out to those affected and their families.”

No comments: