Silvio Berlusconi Has A Dr Evil Moment Whilst Weighing Up The Talent

Obama: 'I screwed up' over cabinet

George Bush Swallows His Pride At Contraception Clinic

Obama Confirms Intelligence Picks

Nintendo's Brain Training, Dr Kawashima was both shocked and delighted at being given such a high profile position.

Bush Plans To Provide Practical Guide To Presidency For Obama

Surely some mistake? -Ed.

Obama Team Discusses New Stimulus Plan

Ohio Plumber Becomes Focus Of Debate

An Ohio Plumber became the focus of last nights presidential debate after both candidates confirmed that they are the real Joe Plumber. This nearly ended in a fight after Barak Obama accused John McCain of being in need of a plumber as his campaign was like his incontinence problem, leaking like a faulty tap and in constant need of repair.

This was counter acted by McCain shouting to Obama across the room to, " go home and plumb your wife, Obama."

McCain's eye on the Maine chance

Mrs Palin is due to visit Bangor - the biggest town in Maine's second congressional district - with her husband Todd, a snowmobile race champion whose renown extends beyond Alaska.

The southern and coastal regions of the state are certain to vote for Barack Obama. In the north of the state, however, residents enjoy moose-hunting, fishing and snowmobiling just as much as they do in Mrs Palin's home state of Alaska.

"We are very impressed with the McCain-Palin ticket as it has been professionally printed ," said Pam Davis, president of the Maine paper appreciation Association.

A few additions to the states road signs have been made in preparation of the forthcoming visit.

"We have put up a few signs for the local moose population just in case they haven't heard that Sarah Palin is due to visit today. We wouldn't want her killing them all before the locals have the chance to!" Chief Ranger Ken Stott confirmed at a press conference.

On General Release Now

If McCain Wins The Election?

Bill Clinton Gets Excited About Hillary And Obama Working Together

McCain and Obama Hang Their Hopes On Christian Vote

Barack Obama and Sen. John McCain sought to burnish their Christian credentials with voters Saturday night in a civil forum at a California megachurch. Both Senators confirmed their pro life views but at what cost for American women?

McCain: A Stair Lift To The White House?

John McCain has recently stated that Barack Obama was too young to be the next President. However, some in the media have in fact recently been accusing senator McCain himself of being far too old for the job.

John McCain has as expected in the press, strenuously denied he is too old for the job. However, in an exclusive for the Global News Terrorist newspaper, Mr McCain was secretly pictured at his home this week using a stair lift.

Will the White House soon be buzzing with the sound of a stir lift motor? Will the presidents chair be replaced with a commode? Only the American people can decide.

Obama Seeks New Running Mate?

Bill And Hillary Clinton To Star In Movie Remake?

News has hit the Global News Terrorists front desk that the Clintons are to appear in the remake of Harold and Maude. Hollywood insiders have claimed that Bill and Hillary plan to go into acting should Hillary fail to get the Democrats vote against Barack Obama during the presidential nominations this year. Bill Clinton who is no virgin when it comes to performing on the big stage is desperate to make his Hollywood debut although he feels Hillary would be more suited to the role of Maude than he would. Mrs Clinton would not comment on the rumour but looking at the photograph we received in the post she looks a far better candidate for playing Maude than she would as the new president.

Obama Calling The Tunes

Who Do Yo Believe?

The day after the President and the main candidates in the race for the Presidency return from their fishing trip, we ask just who caught the biggest fish?


Who would you believe?

Hillary Goes Fishing And Nets Herself A Big Win

Hillary Clinton Netted herself a huge win last night to keep in the race for the Democratic Candidate for the Presidency. We are not sure if the hand gesture indicates the size of her win over Obama or if she is asking her husband former president Bill Clinton for one of his famous hand rolled cigars?

Obama Lets One Rip To Deflect Child Suicide Bomber

Critics Pan American Pop Idol Finalists On Super Tuesday