Ohio Plumber Becomes Focus Of Debate

An Ohio Plumber became the focus of last nights presidential debate after both candidates confirmed that they are the real Joe Plumber. This nearly ended in a fight after Barak Obama accused John McCain of being in need of a plumber as his campaign was like his incontinence problem, leaking like a faulty tap and in constant need of repair.

This was counter acted by McCain shouting to Obama across the room to, " go home and plumb your wife, Obama."

Bill And Hillary Clinton To Star In Movie Remake?

News has hit the Global News Terrorists front desk that the Clintons are to appear in the remake of Harold and Maude. Hollywood insiders have claimed that Bill and Hillary plan to go into acting should Hillary fail to get the Democrats vote against Barack Obama during the presidential nominations this year. Bill Clinton who is no virgin when it comes to performing on the big stage is desperate to make his Hollywood debut although he feels Hillary would be more suited to the role of Maude than he would. Mrs Clinton would not comment on the rumour but looking at the photograph we received in the post she looks a far better candidate for playing Maude than she would as the new president.

Archive News Special: American Public Go Ape After TV Debate

We open yet again The Global News Terrorists Archives and reprint this report following the Republican Party's live television debate from May 2007.

The Republican Presidential Debate, raised more than a few hairy eyebrows a Local Kansas newspaper, Kansas City Plough reported. It would appear that Senator Brownback (Kansas), Governor Huckabee (Arkansas) and a member of the House of Representatives Tancredo (Colarardo) all raised their hands in a response to a question about whether anyone doesn’t believe in evolution.
The three Republican Candidates pictured above during the live debate shown across America refused to speak to reporters after the debate however, their respected spokes people did confirm that each of the men stood strongly by their convictions on such a strong religious issue as this.

We can reveal that such views are common place in many states within America. A Creationist campaign has fired the belly of anti-Darwinism for many years. In some states there has been instances of high schools and colleges being brought to court for refusing to preach Creationism/Intelligent Design alongside Evolution to their students. Many parents have withdrawn children from such centres of education and students have in some instances boycotted schools who are trying to hold on to the last remnants of normality.

Many right thinking people have come out and blamed George W Bush for allowing the seeds of pro creationism to enter the political arena to the degree that it is right now. This along with his backing of millions of dollars to the likes of Abstinence from sex campaign for young adults and backing of Pro Life issues. This has been whilst other issues such as Health Care for the poor has been neglected. These issues along with Global Warming for many years have been left to stagnate and burn a hole in more than just the atmosphere but the American people's and the worlds conscience too.

A $1 billion abstinence measure was passed by the Republican-led Congress and signed by Bush under his faith-based initiative, abstinence-until-marriage program.

Mr Bush would only say that, “I didn’t get any when I was a young man so why should, the kids of today be allowed to fornicate like dogs. As for pro life I am a firm believer that life is sacred but if you are a drunk behind a wheel and some fool walks right out in front of you then it’s a different matter."

Many feel that the end of his second term in office may leave an even bitter taste than his first tenure did.

Mr Bush ................. A Monkey