President Obama Pardons Turkey

Groundhog Day Goes Wrong!

American voters were forced to re-live George Bush’s presidency in shock groundhog day
time continuum portal.

George Bush Swallows His Pride At Contraception Clinic

Happy New Year Celebrations Gift To The People Of Gaza

As countries around the world celebrate the start of 2009 Hundreds of thousands turn up in Gaza to watch the celebratory fireworks. Unfortunately for the citizens of Gaza it was the Israeli Armed forces who where letting this years fireworks off in spirited attempt to oppress the people of Gaza.

Israeli defence minister Ehud Barak who helped to orchestrate the celebrations was, it has been confirmed very happy with this years fireworks display. When asked if he felt the actions were a little heavy handed taking into account the number of deaths that have occurred, Mr Barak confirmed, " Our public liability insurance is up to date and besides they are only Palestinians!"

Out going President George Bush thanked the Israeli government for taking the opportunity to do what they are doing now as they will have little chance of getting away with it so easily once the new man in charge takes over.

The Israeli government have confirmed that as a special treat they are happy to extend the current celebrations for as long as they want. This was met by a muted response from World leaders as usual.

A peaceful new year to you all - (surely not Ed.)

Bush Plans To Provide Practical Guide To Presidency For Obama

Surely some mistake? -Ed.

New Home In Dallas For The Bushes?

Surely not - Ed.

Wearing 'Almost Homeless' Sign, Ex-President Seeks Work

Like a parody of each other two men in America find themselves looking for employment. Former toy industry executive, Paul Nawrocki who has been walking the streets of New York looking for work since February 2008 and soon to be former President George Bush.

Mr Bush who has been very successful in mis handling Americas finances home and abroad is I am sorry to say, more likely to find a new job once the new president is ushered in to the White House.

However the other side of the coin for normal hard working Americans is a truly different story. Wearing a suit and tie under the sign, Nawrocki -- who was in the toy industry 36 years before being laid off in February -- stands on Manhattan corners for hours, hoping to pass resumes to interested passers-by."When you're out of work and you face having nothing -- I mean, having no income -- pride doesn't mean anything," Nawrocki said. "You need to find work. I have to take care of my family."

In comparrison, Mr Bush, however when asked of his attempts at finding a suitable new job confirmed, "I am just waiting for Daddy to telephone one of his friends. Once he has, I am sure I will be back in business making millions selling arms to future Presidents in years to come.

Summit Pledge To 'Restore Growth'

Global leaders at the G20 financial summit in Washington have pledged to work together to restore global growth.

President George Bush said that he assumed these small children would grow taller with age but it looks like the world will have to step in and help. Mr Bush confirmed that the United States would be in it for the long stretch.

On General Release Now

Archive News: North Korean Nuclear Test

So, North Korea have tested a nuclear weapon...allegedly! Reports in today claim it could well have been a stray US missile from the 1st gulf war. "It wouldn't be the first time we've missed the target", said a US General.

Condemnation has been widespread across the globe. In the UK, Tony Blair frowned, in France, Jacques Chirac shrugged his shoulders.

In the US, George Bush appeared to show concern when he heard that Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie are to appear on TV together after their recent bust-up.

"We will not accept this act. We will not allow these people onto our TV screens, terrorising our Nation!". Bush went on to say "I used to like Kim Jong II, I thought he was great in Team America".

US Governments Bail-Out Plan Hits A Snag

The Worlds Leader Puts America In The Picture

President George W Bush has said that legislators will "rise to the occasion" and pass the Wall Street rescue plan. In a statement he said that there are still disagreements because, "the proposal is big and the reason it's big is because it's a big problem".

By Lance Spelling

Palin In Crash Course In Foreign Policy?

US Republican vice-president candidate Sarah Palin has met world leaders for the first time in what is widely seen as a crash course on foreign policy. Sarah Palin's assistant confirmed that her first meeting went well over a Happy Meal lunch. Republican insiders have denied that Palin and the first head of state she met fought over who was keeping the free toy.

Bush Denies Fannie Mae And Freddie Mac Hit America As Hard As Previously Thought

Bush Gives McCain His Blessing

George Bush Squares Up To Vladimir Putin Over Georgia

Yee Haw Yee Haw is echoing around the White House as Barmy George gets a last chance to vaporise humanity.
Our source within the White House said “Oh Sh*t.” Duck and Cover.

By SLAP

George Bush Tells Russia To Lay Off Georgia.

Bush Joins The Tush Slapping Championship At Beijing Olympics

Mr Bush took time out from it all and enjoyed the delights of the Beijing Olympics. It looked to all the world that President Bush was concentrating on bringing home the Gold for his country even if it was such a painful experience for him?????

George Bush Tells Chinese Counterpart "America Won't Stand For Human Rights Abuses"

George Bush In Off Shore Drilling Boob

President Bush made another of his famous goofs yesterday when questioned on his views regarding off shore drilling. Mr Bush said that he was happy with his current dental plan and had no need to seek treatment outside of the country.