Showing posts with label alaska. Show all posts
Showing posts with label alaska. Show all posts

Friday, 19 December 2008

American Missile Launch Kills Santa On Trial Run


Unofficial reports are coming in that NORAD (North American Aerospace Defence Command) has shot down Santa during one of his many trial runs using one of its defence missiles, possibly a heat seeking missile. Situated in a tunnel driven 3km (1.9 miles) inside Cheyenne Mountain, this facility was designed to track incoming Soviet missiles and aircraft during the Cold War.

NORAD, for many years now have also been tracking Santa on their satellite system, via the internet for children across the world. Santa's progress is tracked; it has been officially stated due to Rudolph the reindeer's famous nose giving off an infrared signature similar to a missile launch. On this occasion it would seem all has gone wrong.

As such they have refused to comment on the possible destruction of Father Christmas due to the distress such an accident, if true, could have upon the children of the world.

Reports are hazy at the moment but it is believed that American High Command may have mistook Santa and his sleigh as a proto-type war head which was allegedly supplied to Al Qaeda by the Iranian Government due to a glitch in their defence system.

Further reports are coming in that debris has been sighted over an undisclosed area which mainly consists of burned plastic and cardboard, presumably toys and twisted lumps of metal possibly from Santa’s sleigh. In North America a group of children have been reported to have been spotted carrying a severed reindeers head aloft in a ritualistic ceremony. Alaska Governor, Sarah Palin has denied that this is Rudolph’s head. However, due to the nose of the creature having been removed, these reports, as yet remain unsubstantiated.

The World media holds its collective breath and their front pages in readiness for the truth as it unfolds. The possible backlash from parents and more importantly children is immeasurable at this time. President Bush, it is believed has already been removed to an undisclosed bunker a Pentagon source has confirmed.

Thursday, 16 October 2008

McCain's eye on the Maine chance


Mrs Palin is due to visit Bangor - the biggest town in Maine's second congressional district - with her husband Todd, a snowmobile race champion whose renown extends beyond Alaska.

The southern and coastal regions of the state are certain to vote for Barack Obama. In the north of the state, however, residents enjoy moose-hunting, fishing and snowmobiling just as much as they do in Mrs Palin's home state of Alaska.

"We are very impressed with the McCain-Palin ticket as it has been professionally printed ," said Pam Davis, president of the Maine paper appreciation Association.

A few additions to the states road signs have been made in preparation of the forthcoming visit.

"We have put up a few signs for the local moose population just in case they haven't heard that Sarah Palin is due to visit today. We wouldn't want her killing them all before the locals have the chance to!" Chief Ranger Ken Stott confirmed at a press conference.


Thursday, 4 September 2008

McCain's VP In Bikini Photo Hoax

Alaska Governor Sarah Palin has kicked up a media firestorm since John McCain announced she would be his vice presidential running mate. Many people have also been searching the Internet for sexy photos of Sarah Palin. It was thought they had hit pay dirt when saucy photos of Palin toting a gun wearing a star-spangled bikini were uncovered. However, these photos have since been proven fake. We did however manage to see the real face behind the fake photo's of Sarah Palin which appear to be more shocking than the fake ones?