Morrisey Celebrates His Short Lived Echo Arena Concert With New CD Release

Morrisey confirmed he will throw in a free limited edition plastic cup for the first 200 people to buy his "Live At The Echo Arena" CD.

By

Jonk and Gronk

All In All It was Just Another Paedophile On The Cavern Wall

A brick bearing the name of disgraced glam rocker Gary Glitter was removed from Liverpool's famous Cavern Club and replaced with a plaque.

The convicted paedophile's name was featured among the hundreds of acts who have played the Matthew Street club, made famous by The Beatles. A Spokesperson said that they hoped this amendment should but the record straight.

This Weeks Festival News Round Up

Liverpool’s capital of culture festival is disrupted when the council is subject to a smear campaign.

The Ideal Home exhibition is marred by controversy when local drug pushers turn up
to buy and sell. Will any one notice the poster states I Deal from Home?

The tattoo/piercing festival fails as organisers get tied up at the office and fail to dot the I’s and cross the T’s.They are unsure who to pin the blame on.

Radio announcer: At local festival today hundreds are hospitalised with frost bite. “Big Chill” organisers confirm that someone had left the freezer door open.

Vegan Festival gets into full swing when the DJ plays his Bombay Mix at the turn table.

Large Spider Makes Children Celebrate More

Liverpool woke to the sight of a large spider suspended off the side of one of its city centre buildings yesterday. The mechanical spider was created to help celebrate the 2008 European City Of Culture.

We asked a group of local children if they were impressed by the large spider.

Gary a local boy said " It has mate. Because of that large spider I am now smoking more and drinking more."



By Lance Spelling

Chiefs Admit Birmingham Skyline Mix-up

Birmingham City Council has admitted sending out leaflets which showed its US namesake's skyline instead.

About 720,000 pamphlets praising Brummies for their recycling were sent around the city at a cost of £15,000.

But instead of showing landmarks such as the Rotunda and the new Selfridges building, it showed downtown Birmingham, Alabama, instead.

This isn't the first time such a costly error has been made by a City Council in this country as the following exclusive picture shows.

Armed Police Have Bird Killer In Their Sights

It has been reported that the Fazackerley Bird Killer was at long last captured by Merseyside Police yesterday morning.

For nearly six months now police have been on a wild goose chase across a suburb of Liverpool trying to capture the mass murderer of countless hundreds of law abiding pigeons and other common a garden birds. A nation wide man hunt had been underway for some time but without much to go on. However, a call to Crime Stoppers alerted the police to a possible suspect.

There has been strong information passed to our editorial team that has thrown up the possibility that the same killer may have been part of the conspiracy to kill JFK way back in November 1963. New evidence has come to light that kitty-litter was found behind the fence on the grassy knoll. Tomorrow The Global News Terrorists asks –

Did Lee Harvey Oswald act alone or did the Kitty-Litter Killer have a paw in the whole sordid act?

Teddy And Teacher Head For China

Teacher Gillian Gibbons, 54, from Aigburth, Liverpool, who was jailed in Sudan for allowing her class to name a teddy bear Mohammed, is preparing to start a new job at a school in China, with her new bear “Chairman Mao”. The bears name was decided on after consultation with young Chinese school boy “Sum-yung-guy” We wish her well in her new venture.

Eric Shun (formerly known as Neil Batley)

Cultural Killings But Not in Liverpool

So called Honour Killings by some ethnic groups in Britain have come under further police scrutiny. The Federation of Police have confirmed that they will now be called Cultural Killings to take away any connection to the word Honour. This change of name has been welcomed by many but not by all. The Merseyside Police have issued a statement today confirming that this has in no way what so ever any connection to Liverpool Culture Company and its 2008 celebrations. The Cities Labour councilors have refused to comment on where such a connection may have come from.