This Weeks Festival News Round Up

Liverpool’s capital of culture festival is disrupted when the council is subject to a smear campaign.

The Ideal Home exhibition is marred by controversy when local drug pushers turn up
to buy and sell. Will any one notice the poster states I Deal from Home?

The tattoo/piercing festival fails as organisers get tied up at the office and fail to dot the I’s and cross the T’s.They are unsure who to pin the blame on.

Radio announcer: At local festival today hundreds are hospitalised with frost bite. “Big Chill” organisers confirm that someone had left the freezer door open.

Vegan Festival gets into full swing when the DJ plays his Bombay Mix at the turn table.

Large Spider Makes Children Celebrate More

Liverpool woke to the sight of a large spider suspended off the side of one of its city centre buildings yesterday. The mechanical spider was created to help celebrate the 2008 European City Of Culture.

We asked a group of local children if they were impressed by the large spider.

Gary a local boy said " It has mate. Because of that large spider I am now smoking more and drinking more."



By Lance Spelling

Armed Police Have Bird Killer In Their Sights

It has been reported that the Fazackerley Bird Killer was at long last captured by Merseyside Police yesterday morning.

For nearly six months now police have been on a wild goose chase across a suburb of Liverpool trying to capture the mass murderer of countless hundreds of law abiding pigeons and other common a garden birds. A nation wide man hunt had been underway for some time but without much to go on. However, a call to Crime Stoppers alerted the police to a possible suspect.

There has been strong information passed to our editorial team that has thrown up the possibility that the same killer may have been part of the conspiracy to kill JFK way back in November 1963. New evidence has come to light that kitty-litter was found behind the fence on the grassy knoll. Tomorrow The Global News Terrorists asks –

Did Lee Harvey Oswald act alone or did the Kitty-Litter Killer have a paw in the whole sordid act?