Office Retirement A Bit Of A Stinker

Aging office lothario from Manchester, retiring after 35 years with same company was surprised today after being confronted with room full of past conquests. Area director Ken Stott confirmed it was a sad day for the company but a happy one for 20 year olds in the office.

The Weekly Festival News Round Up

Landmine Festival: Organisers asked about its controversy in holding such a festival said that we all need to tread carefully when dealing with such issues.

The OAP’s festival of remembrance is slightly muted this year due to the committee all suffering from Alzheimer’s.

Festival of Love: This year’s festival ends in chaos as Relate Police have to be called in.

Gay Pride Festival: It ends in a cat fight when some partygoers ask if scatter cushions would be available but were unhappy when told this was still to be arranged.

Duelling OAPs cross swords in care home

Britain's 2012 Olympic Fencing Team starts to prepare itself for golden glory in four years time.
Jack Smythhurst said that the team are a little rusty at the moment but should be ready in four years time providing they haven't all died by then.