The world let out a collective sigh of relief when it was announced that America has placed the Polar Bear on its list of endangered species. The polar bear which migrates across the ice flows in search of food enters Alaska during part of its hunting season. Ecologists as well as Animal Welfare organizations look now to see if this is a move in the right direction for George Bush’s America. Eugene O’Brien of “Stop The Damage (STD) campaign” confirmed to The Daily Views, “At last someone in Bush’s government is waking up and smelling the coffee.” It is doubted that it would be fare trade coffee. “The very fact that the polar bear has been placed on Americas endangered species list surely is a wake up call to Mr Bush himself. For far too long now the Bush regime has turned its back on the world’s concerns regarding the Green Gas emissions issues.” Mr O’Brien added.
America failed to agree to sign the Kyoto Protocol agreement under which industrialized countries agreed to reduce their collective emissions of greenhouse gas by 5.2%.
The world waited with bated breath for confirmation that this will be followed by a response from President Bush that he now agrees that global warming is in fact linked to the amount of green gas emissions. The Daily Views attended a hastily arranged interviewed at the White House where President Bush gave a brief statement on the matter.
“For some time now we as a nation has kept a close watch on the decline in some of our indigenous species of animals and of course some of the migratory animals that frequent our shores. I must admit that we have been caught napping on the decline in the population of our friend the great polar bear. It saddened me when I read a recent report on this great beasts decline in numbers. As such I have called for the mighty polar bear to be added to the list. If these polar bears die out who is going to help Santa make all the lovely toys for our children? “Steadily we have noticed the decline in many of our great American wildlife, such as the American Black Bear, Virginia Big-Eared Bat, Woodland Caribou, Columbian White-Tailed Deer and of course the Point Arena Mountain Beaver a particular favourite of mine. We have to ensure that these animals and other animals have a fighting chance. That is why I am calling for congress to rush through a bill that will plough funds into stopping these animals from being decimated.”
When Mr Bush was pressed on the matter of a link between the melting of the Ice flows the polar bear needs to help in its long journey from the polar region to Alaska and global warning, Mr Bush smiled and replied.
“I cannot see any connection between the two. I have merely asked for the polar bear to be placed on the list due to the high proportion of polar bears being killed in snow mobile accidents. I have asked the governor of Alaska to stop allowing underage polar bears who have been drinking from being allowed to hire snow mobiles under the influence. Too many have been running red lights and either killing themselves or pedestrians and it isn’t good enough. As for the list of other animals close to extinction I have personally asked Dick Cheney to stop hunting these animals in future in order to give them a fighting chance. He has happily confirmed he will stick to hunting his close friends and enemies instead.”
With that Mr Bush finished the interview and went on his Christmas break where we believe he is enjoying his annual festivities with his family at their ranch hunting abortionist and paediatricians.
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