New Snow Storms Predicted..Maybe?

The Met office gave a severe snow warning last night it can be confirmed. After the heavy snow fall and the severe icy conditions that followed in January this year it has been announced that a second cold snap of unconfirmed severity is due to hit Britain again. Unfortunately a spokesperson at the Met could not confirm the exact date that this new cold front would hit Britain nor could it say the exact areas of Britain likely to be affected.

We spoke to a cross section of the country and we can confirm that the general public are not too happy with such lackadaisical weather forecasting form the Met Office.

Brian Cox, 50 from Wakefield said, “Surely the so called experts can give us a better idea than this. The general public needs to be warned in advance if an opportunity to skive off work is in the offing.”

Paul Winterbottom, 37 Sutton Coalfields said, “It would be great to have a bit more snow after all it is not often my officers get the chance to go down snowy slopes on their riot shields these days. Twice in a year would be amazing I can tell you.”

Mary Whitehouse. 18 Stoke said, “I hope it happens during the half term holidays as at least it will keep my 5 kids off the street and at home where I know what they are up to. God help me if they receive yet another ASBO off the police.”

The uncertainty of the latest forecast has been blamed on changes within management at the Met Office their spokesperson revealed. “Unfortunately as is the nature of the job, just like the unpredictability of nature itself our predictions can come a cropper from time to time. We are currently using every resource possible to pin point exactly where the snow storms will hit but it has been a bit of a headache I can tell you. We have three options available, these being sticking a pin in a map of the country, a region written on a piece of paper and then picked from a hat and possible contacting Mystic Meg from a well known Daily Newspaper to help us out.”

The Government has denied it is lacking in grit to sort this problem out. They have promised to plough more money into the Met Office so that future forecasts will be obtained more precisely than at the current moment in time.

Britain Suffering Low Levels Of Normal Moaning

Experts have confirmed that Britain it is not quite ready to get back to its usual degree of moaning.

Due to the recent extreme weather conditions that have hit British shores general every day moaning has been for a time placed on the back burner. The reason for this change is wholly due to current national obsession with snow, ice and daily weather forecasts.

Henry and Iris Walton from Norwich have actually welcomed the heavy snow falls, “It has been a real godsend for us both to be honest with you. After 55 years of a stale lifeless marriage Iris and I have at last got something to talk to each other about. The way I look at it, at least we are not screaming in silence at each others every move like we normally would be doing. I know snow isn’t everyone’s cup of tea but it has helped us.”

Dr Hillary James, health expert for the GNT confirmed “Although there is nothing wrong in making tea with boiled snow under certain conditions it is not recommended. I would like to warn elderly readers to particularly stay clear of any yellow or brown stained snow for tea making as they could be in for a bit of a shock.”

The Met Office have confirmed that the snow storms are set to continue on and off in some parts of the country for at least another week. As such it is expected that this should keep all weather related moaning at maximum levels and keep any normal New Year moaning at unprecedented low levels.

Experts are currently pondering on what impact this will have on an already stressed out Nation. Government agencies have been supplied with extra supplies of earplugs in order to help their staffs with the expected avalanche of bemoaning that is coming their way once the ice has melted and the roads are clear again.

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