Scout Club AGM

Dear Member,

We hope you will be able to attend our 5th annual general meeting of the Wirral Scout Club. This year it will be held at the local parish hall at 6.45 pm and I have been assured that the Octogenarian’s Boxercise Class will have vacated the hall by 6.25pm precisely and any fluid on the floor removed.

The past twelve months have been excellent in as far as fund raising is concerned. We managed to raise 50 Billion pounds to secure the bail out of the Royal Bank of Scotland. This was a commendable fete to say the least and praise has to given to both Mrs Brown and Mrs Darling for her excellent baking skills in cooking not only their wonderful rock cakes but also the financial books too.

We will be voting on the following issues at this year’s AGM, which will be key to the future success of Scout Club.

Amendment to Rule 1 to provide permission to talk about Scout Club providing a valid reason can be justified. (i.e., visits by Royalty or Blue Peter and possible pressure from your parent/s)

Amendment to Rule 2 to provide permission to talk about Scout Club providing a valid reason can be justified. (i.e., visits by Royalty or Blue Peter and possible pressure from your parent/s)

Amendment to Rule 3 the elimination of all forms of violence, i.e. during the likes of, tugs of war, conker fights or tent races. Woggle fights are to be restricted to the odd occasions when your mother tries to straighten your woggle for you in front of other Scout Club members.

Amendment to Rule 4 non payments of weekly subs will now result in non paying members being refused refreshments i.e. Orangeade, biscuits or sandwiches from the tuck shop.

We look forward to your support in allowing these amendments to the Scout club rules.


B Powell
Club Secretary

Tory MP Stripped Of His Whip

MPs suspend Conway from Commons

MP's vote to suspend Tory Derek Conway for 10 days and order him to return £13,161 of payments to his son. The Conservative MP had denied he had done anything as his son was a boy scout and he had merely paid him the £13,161 as part of his son's bob a job week. The MP for Old Bexley and Sidcup has also had his whip withdrawn much to his dismay, as Mr Conway had grown very attached to the item concerned.

Commons leader Harriet Harman said it was a "highly regrettable" affair and questioned the validity of Mr Conway's son being still a boy scout at such an old age. Her Conservative shadow Theresa May said Mr Conway's suspension was needed in order to protect the reputation of the Commons. However, she further added that she was glad to see Mr Conway's whip being removed, as it was need for Mr Cummerbunds Vicar's and Tarts Party at the weekend.

The local leader of the Sidcup Boy Scouts had denied that Mr Conway's son could have received such a vast amount of money for bob a job week. "I know inflation has increased steadily over the last decade or so but £13,161 is more than most pensioner can afford these days."