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Nazi Ginger Stormtrooper Causes Display Of Anger

A shop owner in Hackensack, New Jersey has been asked to remove the contents of his shop window after complaints from local residents about its contents. The offending contents of the shop window were storm trooping gingerbread men.

The local police chief has confirmed that complaints have been received due to the little ginger Nazis.The owner of the shop Klaus Barbie was shocked to find the little goose-stepping treats were hard to swallow by the local residents.

We spoke to the shop owner for a response. “Mien Gott has the world gone mad? They are only little baby gingerbread men what is wrong with that? Has this great country suddenly gone anti-ginger all of a sudden? I see no reason why there has been such a fuss about the whole matter.”

We were allowed to view the alleged offensive gingerbread men under police supervision in the back of the shop. This was only after exhaustive meetings with the mayor’s office and city police representatives. Unfortunately we were not allowed to take any pictures of the storm trooping Nazi gingerbread men so we have had an artist draft a picture of what one of the offending men would have looked like.It is understandable why the local authorities felt that the fascistic gingerbread men crossed a line after people started complaining.The gingerbread men were created by local artist Adolphus Smits, who has displayed his works in Barbie's store window before. Barbie said of Smits' goose-stepping little treats: 'He's gone way overboard at times. A few of his other displays were on the edge, but I would never say they were offensive.'

The ruckus over the gingerbread Nazis might not be entirely unexpected given Smits's 'on the edge' display from last year – featuring a little boy using his new chemistry set to manufacture crystal meth, and a snowman beating up carol singers and urinating over their open mouths whilst using his carrot in a strange manner.

Smits defended his work, saying: 'I can differentiate between real Nazis and that the atrocities they performed compared to these little gingerbread men, but I guess some people can't.''Maybe I just find beauty in bizarre places,' he added, ruefully.Fans of Smits art will be pleased to know that one element of his work currently remains in place – a young Jesus pulling the wings off an angel.

Look Good For Jesus

Ever wondered what Jesus used to use when he wanted a bath? then look no further for this blasphemous cleaning product has recently been seen on sale in the Far East. What next, " Cleans the mind shampoo." or "Throw the first stone" Kidney and Gall bladder relief medicine?"

We asked the retailer who has had the product removed from his shelves due to complaints from religious groups about the idea behind the products.

Mr Harry Ho confirmed, " It came to me in a vision whilst sitting in my bath one evening. I thought to myself that I was cleaning my body and wondered to myself did God ever have a bath? I then hit on the idea to produce my own bath and household products. Unfortunately I have been asked to remove some of my products as some locals felt it was going too far. I only hope my new bleach product doesn't get removed also."

Mr Ho's Family sized bottle of bleach " The Road To Domestos" is in the shops now.

Camilla's Beauty Products Soon To Hit The Shops

Camilla Parker Bowles has confirmed that she is is to launch a range of cosmetics for the woman about town. Mrs Parker Bowles who is known for not only her wonderful dress sense but also for her ageless skin. " I have been asked by numerous people how i manage to keep my looks and to be honest darling I always say Bullfrogs. I have been injecting bullfrog fat into various parts of my face for years now and as you can see it hasn't done me any harm what so ever."

Mrs Parker Bowles we can confirm has been aware of the recent discovery that the bullfrog may harbour a valuable anti-aging substance for humans.

South Korean researchers say, " The material is useful in removing free radicals -- molecules that hasten the aging process of human cells. Though we would not recommend anyone should just inject the bullfrog fat directly into ones face."

Mrs Parker Bowles new range of products will go on sale this coming summer. So if you want to have a complexion like hers and want to attract your very own prince in the process look out for "Sand Paper" and "Craggy" in shops near you. Rumours of her other product "Crash Victim" have been removed from the shelves of Harrods. At the time of release this information cannot be substantiated.