Archive News Report From October 2006 : Straw Seeks To Draw A Veil Over Nudity Claims

Jack Straw has denied rumours that he has for the last 20 years secretly been enjoying the delights of a full burkha whilst in the privacy of his own home.

Mr Straw MP for Blackburn and currently the leader of the Privy Seal and Leader of the House of Commons has recently been quoted in the national press asking for Muslim women to remove their traditional head wear in order that they can integrate themselves into the wider British communities. The uproar that followed his remarks has left the Blackburn MP speechless.

We asked his press officer at the House of Commons the reason for no substantial response and he confirmed that this has mainly been due to the fact Mr Straws current speech writer is away on holiday. We asked for a full statement from Mr Straw’s office today as to reports that the Blackburn MP was seen in a head-to-toe burkha in his garden at his London residency.


It has also been rumoured that Mr Straw may in fact be completely nude underneath as apparently he has been heard to remark that it gives him the freedom and the liberty he has always craved. Mr Straw was not available for any comment as he was said to be resting at this country retreat until the matter calms down.

Many MP’s were quick to jump to Mr Straw's defence and agreed that Muslim women in this country should move away from this antiquated tradition and jump with both feet in to the 21st Century. Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott later added that obviously Muslim women with only one foot should be allowed to jump as well into the 21st century and later added that goes for women without feet or legs or those in wheelchairs.

John Prescott: Who Ate All The Pies

John Prescott has today slammed critics for casting doubt on his contention that his bulimia was responsible for his very public extra-marital affair with aide Tracey Temple.

The former Deputy PM shocked the nation with his revelation that he suffered from the illness. It was Prescott’s assertion that the bulimia directly caused him to stray from his wife with former assistant Temple, 46.

It is uncertain however, if Mr Prescott actually knows what bulimia is. Medical research shows that bulimia brings on an over gorging of food promptly followed by forcing oneself to be sick in order to dispel the aforementioned food. Upon looking at pictures of Mr Prescott during the time of his extra marital affair, one can only assume he managed to eat the food but forgot to make himself sick afterwards.

Neither Mr Prescott nor Miss Temple were available for a comment on the matter. However , rumours have circulated that Miss Temple during the affair also threw up quite a lot too. We have been unable to ascertain if this was due to bulimia also or merely due to the realization as to who she was actually having sex with.