Republican's Reveal New Party Logo

The Global News Terrorists Weekend Magazine

Political Joke For The Day

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75-year old Texas rancher whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Sarah Palin and her bid to be a heartbeat away from being President.

The old rancher said, ‘Well, ya know, Palin is a post turtle.’

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a post turtle was.
The old rancher said, ‘When you’re driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that’s a post turtle.’

The old rancher saw a puzzled look on the doctor’s face, so he continued to explain.
‘You know she didn’t get up there by herself,
she doesn’t belong up there,
she doesn’t know what to do while she is up there,
and you just wonder what kind of dumb ass put her up there to begin with.

Spotted By Lance Spelling

Sarah Palin Ruins Christmas

John McCain Election Campaign Whips Fans Into Frenzy

Archive News Special: American Public Go Ape After TV Debate

We open yet again The Global News Terrorists Archives and reprint this report following the Republican Party's live television debate from May 2007.

The Republican Presidential Debate, raised more than a few hairy eyebrows a Local Kansas newspaper, Kansas City Plough reported. It would appear that Senator Brownback (Kansas), Governor Huckabee (Arkansas) and a member of the House of Representatives Tancredo (Colarardo) all raised their hands in a response to a question about whether anyone doesn’t believe in evolution.
The three Republican Candidates pictured above during the live debate shown across America refused to speak to reporters after the debate however, their respected spokes people did confirm that each of the men stood strongly by their convictions on such a strong religious issue as this.

We can reveal that such views are common place in many states within America. A Creationist campaign has fired the belly of anti-Darwinism for many years. In some states there has been instances of high schools and colleges being brought to court for refusing to preach Creationism/Intelligent Design alongside Evolution to their students. Many parents have withdrawn children from such centres of education and students have in some instances boycotted schools who are trying to hold on to the last remnants of normality.

Many right thinking people have come out and blamed George W Bush for allowing the seeds of pro creationism to enter the political arena to the degree that it is right now. This along with his backing of millions of dollars to the likes of Abstinence from sex campaign for young adults and backing of Pro Life issues. This has been whilst other issues such as Health Care for the poor has been neglected. These issues along with Global Warming for many years have been left to stagnate and burn a hole in more than just the atmosphere but the American people's and the worlds conscience too.

A $1 billion abstinence measure was passed by the Republican-led Congress and signed by Bush under his faith-based initiative, abstinence-until-marriage program.

Mr Bush would only say that, “I didn’t get any when I was a young man so why should, the kids of today be allowed to fornicate like dogs. As for pro life I am a firm believer that life is sacred but if you are a drunk behind a wheel and some fool walks right out in front of you then it’s a different matter."

Many feel that the end of his second term in office may leave an even bitter taste than his first tenure did.

Mr Bush ................. A Monkey

Paris Hilton Receives Top Award

Readers Letter:

I am glad that the actor and Republican Governor for California, Arnold Schwarzenegger has come out and declared his support for McCain. I too love McCains Oven Chips and I am amazed that both myself and a Hollywood actor enjoy the same taste in food.

Edith pickle, Fleetwood.